Crap.


So I was watching this Activiaaaaaaaa commercial the other day and it got me thinking about regularity. From what information I have been able to gather through interviews with friends and strangers on the street; most people poop every day and most people don’t want to talk about it to a strange lady with a clipboard on the street.

In learning about regularity, I also discovered that I am not regular. I guess I am IRregular. I don’t drop the browns off at the Superbowl every day, not even every other day – more like every 3 days. Turns out that’s really bad. My husband is constantly telling me to “drink more water” to alleviate this problem. I have always been like this. Even when I was in a teenage wasteland. When I started really thinking about this, it made me realize that when I don’t drop a deuce in 3 days, everything I have eaten in the last three days is still in my gut.

So if a person gets baked on a Friday night and watches ‘The Big Lebowski’ followed by, I don’t know, just as an example, ‘Friday’ or maybe even ‘Dazed and Confused’. Let’s just say that while you are watching; you scarf down a bag of Doritos covered in Frank’s Red Hot (because you put that sh*t on everything), a jumbo pack of Twix (or if you aren’t that into Twix, you just eat one Twick) and then you wash it down with some taquitos and pizza rolls, you are now sitting at your desk on Monday morning with all of that junk (PLUS an entire fackin’ sleeve of thin mints) in your poop chute. TA DA! That’s why Mondays suck.

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