Pay It Forward

Greetings everyone!  It’s official.  Master Leroy Woodcock has adorned his holiday attire and the peeps in our household are prepping for holiday cheer and shit.

It is the season for giving.  You should always give, but this is the time of year when people kinda expect you to.  I think we should try to  be good to everyone all the time.  Let’s try something.  Do a good deed today.  No matter how big or small.

If you are looking for a worthwhile way to donate money this year, please consider donating money to a wounded Marine.   After all, he/she dedicated his/her life to protect your freedom, the least you can do is give a little back.  If you are interested, you must fill out a donation form and you can even send your donation in a holiday card.


Go to this website to fill out this form:


Then mail it to this address:

Wounded Warrior Regiment Charitable Giving
Bldg. 1998
1998 Hill Avenue
MCB Quantico, VA 22134


This is a nice way to thank a veteran for their service, and show that you appreciate their sacrifice in the name of your freedom.


If that’s not your cup of tea, it’s a simple as going to Google(R) and typing in a subject that is near and dear to your heart, then going to their website.  It took me only a few minutes to gather the info for these charitable organizations:

Red Cross Donation:

St. Jude’s Hospital Donation:

Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Research Donation:

Livestrong Cancer Research Donation:

Shriner’s Hospital for Children Donation:

The Women’s Safe House Donation:

Anti-Bullying Donation:


Not everyone can afford to make a monetary donation.  I understand that, times are tough and these kids of ours expect gifts and food…so not everyone has extra cash to give.  Good news!!  There are also free/extremely cheap ways to donate.  You can volunteer or just be kind, that’s free!  I am not sure what I will do today, maybe drop some change in the Salvation Army bucket to one of the bell ringers?  I don’t know.  The other day I was shopping at ALDI and instead of putting my cart back in the cart corral to get my quarter back, I just gave it to the next person.  Not a big deal, but maybe it planted a seed of kindness in someone who would pay it forward to the next person and so on.  For I all I know, she just plugged the cart in when she was done and got a quarter, but she knows a stranger did a small little something nice for her.  And it only cost me $.25.  For those of you who are not familiar with ALDI or Trader Joe’s…they don’t hire the people who go out and retrieve carts from the parking lot.  They save money by attaching a device to the cart that connects it to the next cart, to the next cart, to the next cart…and you can release the cart by inserting a quarter into a slot.  Then, the device unlocks and you can use the cart for your grocery shopping.  To encourage you to return the cart to the chain of carts from whence it came, you go back and insert the metal tab from the next cart into your cart, and poof!  Your quarter comes back out.


In case I didn’t explain it well enough…check it out:


My point is, it only cost me $.25 to do a tiny favor for a person.  If you can afford it, donate your clothes from last winter to goodwill or to a friend in need of clothing.  I recently received a very generous donation of clothing from my friend, she gave my youngest daughter SEVEN full trash bags of clothes, so I cleaned out my daughter’s closet and donated 2 full bags of clothing to a friend’s daughter and 2 more trash bags to another friend’s daughter.  Pay it forward.  Kindness is free.  I always try to think that you get out of life what you put into it.  If you are rude to a person, they might be rude to the next person they encounter, then that person will be rude, and so on and so on…but if you are kind, you can literally change a person’s day, then they will do the same to the next person, and so on…


Give a little, Gain much more!







Childhood…I look at my kids and think to myself, “you little nerds have it easy!”  Actually I say it out loud to them.  They are quite sick of hearing it I am sure.  But I don’t give a shit, they have it easy.  They really are great kids, I am saying that because they are great kids.  Not because I am one of the moms who is in denial that I have dickhole little jerks for kids and I don’t want to admit it.  Trust me, they have their days, but for the most part, all the people who are ever around my nerds will tell you, they are good.  They are respectful…mostly.  See, the girl one in the middle, she has a smartass mouth.  I am 23% sure she gets it from me.  She is extremely intelligent and very witty, cute as a button too.  Actually I could say the same about the boy and the little girl too.  They get it honest, so I ain’t mad at ’em.


My childhood was different from theirs in many ways, largely due to the era, and much different circumstances and surroundings.  My mom was my primary caregiver as a child.  You may not know this about me, but I too am a bit of a smartass.  Catch your breath and soak that in, I know you are probably shocked to hear it.  It’s true though.  Growing up I think a lot of adults in my life considered me to be disrespectful and irresponsible.  I own that.  It’s true, but that isn’t what my intentions were.  I never meant to be the annoying asshole cousin/niece/daughter/student/friend that I was.  I guess  there are people out there who would strive to be, but I wasn’t one of those people.  As an adult who really tries to be self-aware, I still struggle with it.  I am tactless and inconsiderate in many ways, and I usually realize it about 30 seconds after I have said something I shouldn’t have.  I know it’s not normal, but I am who I am.  What I wish people knew about me is that I am very caring and sensitive and I never want to hurt feelings.  I want to fit in but I don’t.  I am funny so I have literally sailed through life on charm.


I really want to say sorry to family members who have dealt with me, and probably talked about me and said how they just can’t believe I said/did that thing at the family reunion or at Christmas or church or what the hell ever I did for years, but then I want to NOT apologize because I am who I am and I am not trying to be a dick.  Let’s face it the odds of my offending you again are thick.  In advance, sorry.  How’s this?  If I ever get noticed and sell a book or something, I will dedicate it to all of those who had to endure me all this time.  I love each and every one of you.



Traditions – Part Deux

I would like to say that I am a person that says what she feels and never makes apologies, but DAMN.  If I offended anyone’s religious beliefs with my post about religions it was not my intent.  I have mad respect for all religions.  I grew up in a Baptist church.  I memorized a bible verse every week from the age of 5 until probably 14.  I went to church camp every summer from the age of 8 to 14.  I was in a youth group at church, I went to church lock-ins. I was Baptized at the age of 9.  I don’t rant about things that I am unfamiliar with.  I take every opportunity I have to gain knowledge about other religions.  I have attended a Lutheran church, Pentecostal church, nearly married a Catholic, so I not only attended Catholic church, but attended a premarital workshop (still have the disturbing workbook from that hot mess) and I read about everything from Buddhism, Scientology, Muslim…you name it.  My thirst for knowledge in the realm of theology remains unsatisfied , but I still love to learn about any and all religions and their traditions.  Trust me, you don’t wanna get me going on a rant about some of the things I find to be scary/asinine/ridiculous about many cultural ceremonies.


When I stated that my family celebrates Christmas but we don’t believe in the reason for the season, I caught a moderate amount of flack.  The thing is, I am one of many who have unplugged from the religious background from whence I came.  I am, however, one of the brave few who openly admit it.  I am not “Breaking Amish” up in here by any means.  I am normal.  I grew up with presents in December, and so will my children.  I and my husband have separated ourselves from the religious aspect of the tradition.  We respectfully celebrate the holiday season with the rest of our entire family who still bow their heads in prayer at every meal.  We hold hands with them, bow our heads, and say amen at the end of the prayer.  My kids are taught to learn as much as they can about as many religions as they can and then they can decide what makes the most sense to them.  I have a library of books in my home and access to media where they can read an learn about religion or lack thereof.  I have an open door policy when it comes to questions about faith.  If you want to come to me and tell me that you are raising your child in church and then you are going to let them decide what they want to believe when they grow up then you are kidding yourself.  Unless you are taking your child to a Jewish temple, a Catholic Mass, Baptist/Pentecostal/Methodist sermon, etc. then you, my friend are NOT letting your child choose.  You are giving them one choice.  So please don’t climb inside my ass and set up camp about my beliefs and how I raise my (by the way gifted, very well-mannered respectful) children.


Thank you and have a super day and shit.







So now that we are old and have a litter of kids, me and the hubbs have been talking more this year about establishing some set-in-stone holiday traditions.  The only things we REALLY do every year are:

  • Decorate for Halloween (which I nixed this year when I donated all of our trashy decor to our daughter’s school for the haunted house at the Fall Festival).  When we had our youngest daughter 4 years ago, there were 6 or 7 babies in our circle of friends born the same year.  We all go to the same house, same subdivision, and trick-or-treat together.  It’s something we have done since the babies were 1, and now the babies aren’t babies anymore, but we have pictures of them from every year sitting together in their costumes.
  • Leave the house for Thanksgiving.  We go to my husband’s brother’s house and I hated typing that.  I consider his brother and his brother’s wife my brother and sister.  I wish we could form some sort of way to call them who they are to us…the most important, special people on this planet.  We usually eat too many appetizers then gorge on turkey, then watch a movie or watch the kids play video games, then at some point I usually find myself waking my husband up from a turkey coma and we come home late, it’s the BEST.
  • We all decorate the Christmas tree together.  And by “we all” I mean me, the hubbs, and our litter of kids, and by together I mean the kids decorate the tree and I have OCD so bad that I have to walk away because of the uneven amounts of red vs green vs white ornament disbursement amongst the limbs.  We turn on the holiday music and sing along, usually 3-4 ornaments get broken, a kid gets yelled at, then I end up cleaning up the big mess in the living room.  Now that I think of it, this tradition needs some work.
  • We are not traditional Christian folk celebrating the birth of Christ during the holiday season.  So we spend time ranting about/discussing how holiday time can be used for togetherness, whether you are Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Athiest, whatever you call yourself.  We wonder why people get pissed because “what right do you have to put up a Christmas tree…” is a crock of shit to us.  We get together with our families, love each other and share the spirit of togetherness and spend money we don’t have on shit we don’t need, just like you do.  So happy birthday JC, we are not trying to be offensive but what the heck does the fat dude in the red suit have to do with your birthday anyway?
  • While I am on the subject of Christian holidays…Easter tradition around here is hunting eggs filled with treats.  My kids love to hang out with their cousins and be the first to find all the eggs.  Can’t find anything directly related to Jesus about the creeper in the bunny suit either but we get a lot of flack for that one too.  Instead of nit-picking perhaps you should just eat your Cadbury eggs and calm down.  They only come out for a short time (I did discover a spooky version of  their creamy-sugary goodness this Halloween…YESSSSSSS!!!)
  • April Fool’s Day – we don’t really do anything for this one but I just wanted to let all my fans know I was born on this day so if you ever wanna get me a present…I love Cadbury eggs – traditional, not caramel.
  • 4th of July – We go watch a fireworks display and BBQ.  We did have a kickass water-balloon fight a couple of years ago, I got smoked in the implant and had to take a knee, thanks to my brother-in-law.  That’s OK, I found a ginormous bucket of water balloons on sale at the Wal-Marts and this coming 4th I plan to fill and launch them at him for revenge.  Will I fill them with water?  Maybe.  Will I keep them safe in the freezer all night?  Might.  Don’t mess with the bull…because you will get the horns.
  • Fish Fry – we host one every year at our house.  My husband and his brother spend virtually every Friday night of fishing season braving the cold, rainy, sometimes hot-as-balls weather to catch a shit-ton of catfish, and at the end of the season, we round up everyone we know and fry it up.  The past 2 years have been very successful.  We had a turnout of over 60 guests both times.  This is by far our favorite tradition.
  • Marine Corps Birthday – November 10, 1775 my Marine Corps came alive.  We commemorate this day by watching the message from the commandant, I usually bake a cake, and then we proceed to watch my husband and his old salty Marine buddies get hammered.  It’s good times.

No matter what you and yours are doing this and every holiday season, I hope your traditions are filled with turkey-comas, too much dessert, a family gathering without the police being called (if that’s what kind of family you have), and above all love.  Don’t just spend the month of November telling everyone on Facebook what you are thankful for each day, spend your whole year telling all the people who support you or make your life easier that you are thankful for what they do.  Thank a veteran when you see him/her in uniform, no matter where you are.  Thank the lady at the grocery store who is standing there checking your groceries, thank your mom for putting up with your smart ass for all of those years (thanks mom) and thank your kids when they behave.  Hell, you yell at them when they misbehave, might as well give them props for being good.

Take care of yourself and of each other.  If you are traveling, be safe.  Be together and find peace, send your thoughts for a moment to those who can’t be with us in body, but forever watch over us in spirit. Form traditions of your own and get rid of or modify old ones.  Don’t feel pressured to “fit the mold”, this world would be a boring place without change.


Much love,



Trash TV

There’s a reality show on TV for everything.  I shouldn’t watch most of the crap I watch but insomnia’s a bitch and I get sucked in to some of the freakiest programming.  Here are  a few highlights from something that has caught my attention recently.


Extreme Cheapskates

Holy crap.  I will never bitch at my husband for being cheap again.  Here’s a quick comparison of my husband and the people on the show:


Hubbs:  wants to cut our dining out budget to once a week.


Cheapskates:  Guy takes his wife on their anniversary date and brings his own styrofoam container, goes around to every table in the restaurant and asks people for their table scraps.  He presents her with her gifts (that he procured from a dumpster earlier that day) to include some wilted flowers and a teapot.


Hubbs:   Takes his lunch to work every day to save money.  Doesn’t want to pay for school lunches because the kids need to make their own lunches.


Cheapskates:  A guy on this show took his family out to their once-a-year dinner to a Chinese buffet and paid with a great big bag of change. He had 6 people in his party, and only paid for 3 plates.


Hubbs:  Makes his own laundry detergent (it’s actually not half bad)


Cheapskates:  One guy wears his clothes in the shower, then collects the used water in a bucket, at the end of the week he pours the water in the toilet so it will automatically flush all the dumps he has taken throughout the week.


Me and my husband grew up in much different living conditions than we live in now.  We have worked to have all the things we have and we will continue to do so in order to give our children more than we had.  However, there are certain lines you DO NOT CROSS.  For example, I don’t care what happens, there will always be room in our budget for toilet paper.  One of the chicks on the show has baskets by the toilet where she keeps washcloths to wipe with after her family does their business.  Even if you buy Charmin (which I do) and you have a family of 5 (which I do) Toilet paper does not break the bank.  I think we spend $20 on it per month, and it’s worth every penny to not have shit-stained washcloths with lingering poo smell in our house.


Another chick on the show dumpster-dives for food.  I get dumpster diving for furniture or other stuff you might see on the side of the road with a sign that says “FREE”.  That’s cool.  However, food?  Really?  Have you ever had giardia?  I have.  It’s an intestinal parasite.  When you eat food from the garbage, there isn’t a note on it that tells why it’s been thrown away.  What if someone got fired that day for sneezing all over all the food?  UGH.  Dude.  Get some coupons and save money that way, don’t eat food out of the trash!


No joke people, there are many ways to save money, but eating garbage and wearing your clothes in the shower don’t make you frugal, they make you a freakhole.  Take your lunch to work, drive an economy car, or carpool.  Save water by turning off the faucet while you are brushing your teeth, cut down your time in the shower…shop at Aldi…but for the love of all things holy be reasonable.  Watching this show has mos def put things in perspective for me.  I am trying to be more aware of spending.  Whoops…gotta go it’s my turn to use the toothbrush.  KIDDING!


Now I am having a difficult time finishing this entry because I am currently sucked into “Breaking Amish”.  Maybe that will be my next blog…


Stay cheap,