Childhood…I look at my kids and think to myself, “you little nerds have it easy!”  Actually I say it out loud to them.  They are quite sick of hearing it I am sure.  But I don’t give a shit, they have it easy.  They really are great kids, I am saying that because they are great kids.  Not because I am one of the moms who is in denial that I have dickhole little jerks for kids and I don’t want to admit it.  Trust me, they have their days, but for the most part, all the people who are ever around my nerds will tell you, they are good.  They are respectful…mostly.  See, the girl one in the middle, she has a smartass mouth.  I am 23% sure she gets it from me.  She is extremely intelligent and very witty, cute as a button too.  Actually I could say the same about the boy and the little girl too.  They get it honest, so I ain’t mad at ’em.


My childhood was different from theirs in many ways, largely due to the era, and much different circumstances and surroundings.  My mom was my primary caregiver as a child.  You may not know this about me, but I too am a bit of a smartass.  Catch your breath and soak that in, I know you are probably shocked to hear it.  It’s true though.  Growing up I think a lot of adults in my life considered me to be disrespectful and irresponsible.  I own that.  It’s true, but that isn’t what my intentions were.  I never meant to be the annoying asshole cousin/niece/daughter/student/friend that I was.  I guess  there are people out there who would strive to be, but I wasn’t one of those people.  As an adult who really tries to be self-aware, I still struggle with it.  I am tactless and inconsiderate in many ways, and I usually realize it about 30 seconds after I have said something I shouldn’t have.  I know it’s not normal, but I am who I am.  What I wish people knew about me is that I am very caring and sensitive and I never want to hurt feelings.  I want to fit in but I don’t.  I am funny so I have literally sailed through life on charm.


I really want to say sorry to family members who have dealt with me, and probably talked about me and said how they just can’t believe I said/did that thing at the family reunion or at Christmas or church or what the hell ever I did for years, but then I want to NOT apologize because I am who I am and I am not trying to be a dick.  Let’s face it the odds of my offending you again are thick.  In advance, sorry.  How’s this?  If I ever get noticed and sell a book or something, I will dedicate it to all of those who had to endure me all this time.  I love each and every one of you.



One Comment, Comment or Ping

  1. My parents loved you and never thought you were a smart ass. In fact my dad still to this day asks “what’s pee wee up to? I haven’t seen her in forever” So to all those people who thought you were a smart ass well they just have no sense of humor and are old boring fuddy duddy’s. 😉

    December 4th, 2012

Reply to “Smartypants”